


like fire weeping from a cedar tree

by poedameroh (howtobottlefame)



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Sex, Bitter Exes, Bottom Kylo Ren, M/M, Oral Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-17
Updated: 2016-06-17
Packaged: 2018-07-15 16:21:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7229770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/howtobottlefame/pseuds/poedameroh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Can you pick me up at the airport?" </p>
<p>It's like that. That easy. Kylo curses himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	like fire weeping from a cedar tree

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Hozier's song Better Love.
> 
> Let me know if you find any mistakes!

"Do you still have that ugly car?" 

He should be insulted, at best. It's been what, a year? Two? He can't remember the last time they saw each other (A lie. He remembers it perfectly. Hates every bit of it if only for what followed). He should tell him off, hang up without dignifying him with an answer. Better yet, he should scream at him and let out all he's been holding in. _Two years and all you can do is insult my car?_ Everything dies in his throat before it could even be formed. "Yeah. I painted it," he says instead.

"Can you pick me up at the airport?" 

It's like that. That easy. Kylo curses himself.

\- 

It's raining, and the car's heating doesn't work, he doesn't remember a time when it did. He doesn't even have to find a parking spot when he gets to the airport. Hux is already waiting by the entrance, his hair bright amidst the crowd and Kylo's breath catches in his throat. Two years. He doesn't offer help with his luggage and Hux doesn't ask, placing the bags in the trunk before he gets into the passenger seat.

The silence is heavy between them when Hux shuts the door, shutting off the outside world. "Where should I take you?" He feels anger settle in his gut as he speaks. Hux should have called a cab for all the difference it makes. 

"Do you still live with your parents?"

"I moved in with Rey a year ago."

"That should do."

He drives. It's that easy. He wants to scream.

-

 

They don't speak, the engine's hum the only sound breaking the silence. Even the stereo is off. Hux taps his finger against his knee, an even rhythm, and Kylo wants to slap his hand to get him to stop. He wants to stop the car and kick him out to walk in the rain. 

He keeps driving.

Rey's not home when they get to the apartment. It's not been long since she left, the scent of her cinnamon candles still drifting in the air. 

"Good to see she keeps you in check." Hux's bags are left by the door as he walks inside, checking the place out. It's small, a little cramped and their furniture mismatched, but it's clean, everything in its proper place. It's as much of a home as they can make it. "Where is she?" 

"Work, probably. Or at Finn's." 

He doesn't want to talk to him. Or maybe he does. He wants to ask how he can stand there, in the middle of his living room and smirk as if there's something amusing in the textbooks on the coffee table. How he can act like nothing's happened, like he didn't just disappear off the face of the Earth one day. No tracks, no note, nothing. 

"Do you want something to drink?" he asks instead. 

"Water is fine. Sparkling if you have." 

He does. "Only tap water."

"That's fine." 

He passes him a glass and makes a point of not letting their fingers brush as he does. He avoids his gaze, too, and a light frown creases at his forehead as he finds something to do. There are a couple of dirty plates in the sink so he washes them, even when he hates washing dishes. When he turns, Hux is nowhere to be seen, his empty glass resting in the counter. He wants to be unnerved by how quiet he can be sometimes. He thinks for a moment he imagined the whole thing until he finds the door to his room half open, the lights turned on. 

"Listen, if you need a place to stay I can drive you to a hotel or something." 

"I can't believe you still have the same bed sheets."

Kylo wants to punch him. "It's not like I haven't washed them since you last saw them. They're clean." Or as clean as they can be. 

The mattress dips where Hux sits. It's the same mattress, too. He seems to know this by the way he bounces on it a little. For a brief, very terrifying moment, it seems like nothing has changed. Hux in his bed, his hair as red as always, his eyes just as blue. Kylo has to look away. 

He really should kick him out. 

He scoots a little to the side and Kylo complies, though there is still an intentional distance between them when he sits next to him, his hands carefully placed in his lap. The silence stretches between them again and it seems to weigh impossibly heavy on his shoulders, while it seems to go unnoticed by Hux. His eyes scan the room, taking in all the details that have changed and those that have stayed the same. The posters on the walls are gone now but his collection of CD's remain. He knows Hux will find some of his own there if he looks well enough. He tries to think of all the things he has of Hux, wonders if he should give them back, if he even wants to. He wants to ask if he still keeps his grandpa's dogtag, the pair to the one that still hangs around Kylo's neck. He tries to sneak a look below Hux's collar, but there's no chain he can see.

"Do you still have that old record player?" Hux asks, casual. Kylo can't take it anymore.

"Where the hell did you go?" His voice turns sharper, the anger seeping in.

"Back to Ireland for a while. Then Germany. Two months in India." He seems completely unaffected, like he's just talking about a short vacation, and Kylo has to take deep breaths not to let his anger get the best of him.

He stands up, needing to put some distance between them. He thinks for a moment that they're already as far from each other as they can be. "Will you just tell me the truth for once? Talk to me," his voice rises at the end but he can't help it. He runs his fingers through his hair, counts to ten and exhales. When he opens his eyes Hux is standing just a few inches away from him. He has to take a step back. 

"I needed space." It takes him a moment but he finally says it. When he looks, the smirk has left Hux's lips. 

"I could've given you space. If you had only asked me!" The look he gets in return makes him clench his jaw, his hands curling into tight fists at his sides.

"No, you couldn't, Kylo." It sounds mocking, and he looks like he would laugh at the mere suggestion. "You're like that. Overbearing. You don't know the concept of space. You get too close, that's just what you do."

He raises one hand, his fist still tight before he has half the mind of letting go, points a finger at him instead. "You can't do this. You can't blame it on me that you were too much of a coward and ran away. And now you want to run back like I haven't already moved on and forgotten you." He wants his words to sting. He keeps his finger a mere inch from Hux's nose and wants to make him feel just like he did, wants to make him ache like that.

"Did you?" His question takes him off guard for a moment, the expectant tone of his voice. "Did you move on?"

"Yes!" He answers too fast and tells himself it's the truth. Wants to believe it as much as he wants to hurt him with it.

He has to do a double take before he realizes what happened. Hux moves too fast for him to catch up and when his eyes focus again he has his lips pressed in a bruising kiss. Angry. With too much teeth and Hux's fingers tugging painfully at the hair on the nape of his neck. His mind takes longer to catch up and when it does he's already kissing back, his hands already on Hux's waist. He realizes then, with his hand slipping under his shirt, he hasn't moved on. Not at all. 

Two years. It makes him angry to think about it. Makes the kiss all the rougher. That Hux can come and go however he sees fit, that Kylo would wait for him for however long it takes. His anger at Hux starts blurring with the one directed at himself, and then with the feeling of Hux's skin, pressing cold under his palm. 

"Did you?" Hux asks again, pressing the words against Kylo's jaw, his teeth marking them on the skin. 

"Yes," he insists even as he tilts his head, closes his eyes and a gasp falls from his lips. 

It's not fair, he thinks, that he should fall back into this so quickly, so easily. Hux presses his lips to the crook of his neck and it's enough. 

He gropes desperately at him, reduced to a panting mess under his touch. Always so eager. He hates himself for it. When Hux's hand goes lower, cupping him hard through the fabric of his jeans, the breath catches in his throat. His body seems to react faster than his brain. Muscle memory triggered by Hux alone. 

"Did you sleep with anyone else?" Hux asks and bites his neck, like punishment for the answer he hasn't gotten yet. "When I was gone, did you let anyone else fuck you?"

"No," he answers, again too fast. Again a lie. "Just once… Twice." It's a confession he shouldn't be ashamed of. He should be glad of it, use it to his advantage. Two years should be enough time to move on, find someone else if only to satisfy his needs. Still, he can't find it in himself. He fights back the apology that rises through his throat and groans when Hux tightens his hand on him. 

"Did they suck your dick as well as me?" It's an absurd question they both know the answer to. Hux drops to his knees in front of him and all coherent thought leaves him. 

His eyes are wide as he looks up at him and his tongue flashes pink where he licks his lips. Kylo's hands find their place in his hair and he forces himself to keep his hips steady as his jeans and underwear are pushed down to his knees. 

He wonders briefly, with Hux's lips wrapped so sweetly around him, how he could ever live with anything less than this. The counted times he had slept with someone else had been more in a drunken rage than anything else. He realizes then that it's this, Hux's mouth on him and his fingers leaving bruises on his hips, that kept him from seeking more. Hux looks up, meets his gaze as he moves down on his dick, taking him almost to the root, and Kylo's knees almost buckle.

"S-Stop…" His voice is breathy and undignified but it's as best as he can manage. His fingers tug lightly at his hair, trying to pull him off. "I'm… Too much…" 

Hux frowns but seems to take the hint, pulling off with one last, delicate kiss to the crown of his dick and Kylo bites his lip to keep from screaming. "You should get this floor carpeted," he says casually as he stands, rubbing a little at his knees. He doesn't get time to say anything else before Kylo has him by the hips, pushing him desperately back to the bed. He's as open and intense here as with everything else, and they land hastily on the mattress, wasting no time. Two years had been enough waiting.

"Take off your clothes. All of them. I want to see you," his voice leaves no room for debate, not that Kylo would complain. The clothes fall messily to a heap on the floor, baring himself completely for Hux's viewing. His skin seems to burn where he's touched, answering to him like it never forgot how. 

There's a moment, seeming to stretch on forever, where Hux stays just out of reach. He stares at all the expanse of skin before him and Kylo thinks he'll go insane if he's not touched soon.

Finally, _finally_ Hux moves again, closer and leaning down to press the length of his body to Kylo's. He's still fully dressed, his belt scratching lightly at his skin. They kiss desperate and hungry, trying to make up for lost time. 

Hux takes his shirt off, back curving into the touch of his hands, and when he leans down again there is a coldness that falls to a rest on Kylo's sternum. Sure enough, when he looks up, the dog tag is there, Anakin Skywalker's ID hanging from his neck. The chain is different, more delicate, expensive. He changed it while he was gone. 

"You kept it?" There is disbelief in his voice, his fingers coming up to touch the silver, slightly warmed by his skin.

"It's not mine to throw away," he shrugs it off, nonchalant. There is something behind his words, though. Not only he kept it but he chose to wear it still, to keep it carefully tucked against his chest, to change the chain when the original broke. 

The tag clicks lightly against its pair, still resting over Kylo's heart, and he finds himself at a loss of words. "I…" Hux doesn't give him the chance to speak again, to say whatever clouded feeling is stuck in his throat. The kiss that follows is messy. Hux sucks on his bottom lip and he all but whimpers into his mouth.

"Turn around. On all fours." 

He follows without complaint. The mattress shifts under his weight as he turns around, his ass lifted on display. When he feels Hux's hands on him, trailing gentle from the back of his thighs to the small of his back, a shiver runs through the length of his spine. "There. On the… thing," he attempts lamely and points to the nightstand, coherent thought muddled by his touch. He thinks he can hear Hux laughing at him as he reaches for the lube but he pays it no mind. "Please hurry up."

"Always so desperate, aren't you? That hasn't changed," his voice seems composed but there is a breathiness to his words that Kylo only gets to hear when they're like this, burning to be touched. 

He struggles to keep himself up, his arms shaking lightly as the first finger breaches in, then a second. Hux opens him precisely, to the point. He's painfully hard inside his trousers only at the sight before him. When he adds a third finger Kylo welcomes it with little resistance, hips pushing back.

"T-that's enough," he breathes out when Hux's fingers slide in easily. He wants more and he's afraid he'll come before he's offered the chance to get it. "Just do it. Just fuck me."

Hux's belt clicks behind him, his trousers zipped open, and he shivers with anticipation. When Hux pushes into him, breaching him painfully slow, his arms finally give in. He keeps his hips raised as he presses his chest to the bed. His hands clutch at the sheets. It's torture, the way that Hux slides in, taking his time like he's not burning for it also. He bottoms out and a plea slips past Kylo's lips without his consent. 

His hands are punishing on his hips, bruising the skin where they clutch at him. He starts to move before he can ask again, hips snapping against his ass and Kylo has to bite his cheek to fight a scream.

A string of nonsense comes from his lips before he realizes. _Please_ and _more_ and _Hux_ without pattern until he's finally granted what he wants. What he _needs_. 

Above him, Hux barely makes a sound as he fucks him, pushing in as deep as he can go. Blunt fingernails scratch at the skin of his back. His fingers trace each mole, each mark he had committed to memory, learning all the ones that have appeared in his absence. He watches the plane of his back and pushes one hand into his hair, tugging at the strands until Kylo _whimpers_.

The angle's off, so he wraps his fingers on the chain around Kylo's neck and tugs. He uses it for leverage as he pulls Kylo up all the way until his back is pressed against his chest. He buries his face in the crook of his neck and holds him like that as he fucks him. The chain digs into his neck but neither of them care. 

Kylo's hair is messy and a little greasy, but it frames his face perfectly. A black halo that sharpens his features and Hux can't do anything but stare at the pleasure written on them. His lips are parted as he gasps with each thrust and when Hux attaches his mouth to his neck and _bites_ , he finally screams. 

He comes undone as soon as long fingers are wrapped around his dick. Hux tears him apart and puts him back up in one stroke. The arm wrapped around his chest is the only support to keep him from falling back on the bed.

Hux is relentless in his pace, taking his pleasure from him as Kylo rides the last waves of his orgasm. He presses his forehead against his shoulder and fucks him like that. When he comes, only a groan in the shape of Kylo's name escapes his throat.

It feels like falling apart. The room feels several degrees too hot as they both struggle to get their breath back. Time stills and two years suddenly become nothing as Hux's lips press gently on his shoulder, trailing up to his jaw. 

They clean each other and put their clothes back on. There's no guarantee Hux won't leave again. He might try to get too close, might push him away again, but for now he has nowhere else to go. When the sun sets they go to sleep. 

Two years. It's that easy.


End file.
